The World She Thought She Knew
by Risen Demon
Summary: A girl commits suicide and winds up in Middle Earth....or is it really? This is far from your typical world-switching fic. PG-13 for language.
1. Default Chapter

The World She Thought She Knew  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. That is the work of the great genius/deity Tolkien. I don't own the title, either-my god, that's sad! The wonderful Bjam thought that up. Here's the real great part-I don't own the name Rayne, the wonderful Jess thought that one up. I feel terrible.  
A/N: I've never written Lord of the Rings fanfiction before. Yes, I understand canon and respect it-this story is actually going to turn into a joke about what can happen if you break canon. I've read "The Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth" and its sequel multiple times, so even if this is a piece of crap the one thing you can't accuse me of is not knowing the rules of fanfiction...  
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Jess and Bjam for helping me with two fundamental things-a title and a main character.  
  
What a day to kill myself, Rayne thought miserably. The sun was shining, the sky was an iridescent shade of blue. The leaves on the trees were shining like someone had threaded them with silver. Far off in the distance, she could see palm trees swaying in the breeze.  
Rayne wanted to puke.  
Just to be ironic, she started singing, under her breath: "The sun is shining, the grass is growing, the orange and palm trees sway..."  
She finished off in a louder voice: "There's never been such a day in Beverly FUCKING Hills L.A!"  
Breathing heavily, she pulled herself up onto the "W" in the Hollywood sign. She was pretty sure there was a law against actually being up here on the letters, but she figured: you know what? Fuck that. She wouldn't really have to worry about breaking the law soon, if everything went according to plan.  
Long ago, she had been talking to a friend of hers. It was many years since, and she couldn't remember how the issue got brought up, but they had been discussing death. Out of the depths of memory, she remembered remarking that if their idea of heaven was Middle Earth, wouldn't you technically go to Middle Earth when you died?   
Ever since then, she had wondered about the truth of her statement. And, of late, she had been wanting to test it. Her theory, forever, had always been that Paradise was only what you imagined it to be. If you pictured it to be all clouds and gold and angels and harps-so be it. To Rayne, Middle Earth was heaven. All parts of it-from the ethereal lights of Imladris, to the rustic beauty of the Shire, to the frosty heights of Caradhras-that was magic to her.  
She thought back over her depressingly short life. She had applied to almost ten colleges that she knew had a good theatre program. Her friend had told her for years that she had damn well better have a backup plan if acting didn't work out, because she'd be out on the streets if she didn't.  
Of course, like a moron, she had ignored Rebecca. She laughed off the warnings, saying "It'll work out. It's my dream! Dreams have to come true, if you want them bad enough." Well, now she was about to throw herself off the Hollywood sign. Because she didn't have a backup plan. She wished Becca could see her now...  
Then again, she had always remarked to people that someday she would "jump the fuck off the Hollywood sign -- just to go out in a fiery bang, you know". Maybe this was her real dream, and she never realized it.  
She really hoped this worked. She had dreaded for ages that she would try to kill herself and it wouldn't work, that she'd end up in the hospital...then the fucking therapy, then the fucking pills, all the fucking people watching her day and night to make sure she didn't try it again...no way, she wasn't going through that.  
So how to do this? Headfirst? Just...jump? Cannonball? Belly flop?  
She chuckled to herself. Wow, I'm a sick fuck, she thought. All the more reason to die!  
Valar! Just get this over with!, she thought furiously to herself. So, slipping her hand into the pocket of her black pants to make sure she had her suicide note with her, she drew in one dizzy breath, turned around, and jumped backwards from one of the most famous sites in the world.... 


	2. Is it really?

Chapter 2: Is it really...?  
Disclaimer: Still don't own LOTR. Working on it. Soon...  
Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! And it's only been up one day...I feel special...*hugs all of you and gives you...coffee*  
Dedication: Once again dedicated to Bjam, this time for my first review, and this chapter is also dedicated to the lovely socks on my arms. They're keeping me very warm.  
  
At first it seemed like someone was screaming bloody murder in Rayne's ears. Then she realized it was the wind, rushing past as she fell. She squeezed her eyes tight shut....when would the fall end? Her body was tilted so her neck would snap the minute she hit a solid surface.  
Then-a crack like dry twigs snapping.  
A blinding pain that lasted only a fraction of a second.  
And the whole world went a searing white.  
How can your whole life flash before your eyes if it takes you that amount of time? Rayne's life had been short and pathetic, but Jesus! It wasn't going to go by in a millisecond. The last thought that flickered across her mind before it shut down was this:  
So they lied when they said it all flashes before your eyes. Wish I could live to tell them....no, wait, I don't wish I could live....that's the point. Middle Earth, here I come!  
"....lady...lady....hey! Bitch! Wake up!"  
Rayne groaned, then, coming to her senses, suddenly thought-oh, no. Please, no. Don't tell me it didn't work. Don't tell me I'm lying here in a body cast and it'll be six months before I can get up and try to kill myself again.  
"Please tell me I'm dead," she moaned.  
"I can only assume you are, since you've ended up here." The female voice had a tired and annoyed edge to it. "We've been trying to get you to wake up for hours, but you just screeched, whacked at us, and went back to sleep."  
Rayne struggled to wrench her eyes open. She felt like someone had glued her eyelids shut. "Where is 'here', exactly?"  
"Imladris... the Last Homely House." That voice was new, male, and somehow...familiar. Come to think of it, the female voice was familiar from somewhere too, so why couldn't she place it? If she could just put faces to the voices, and then names to the faces...she went back to her silent struggle to open her eyes.  
Finally, they seemed to come unglued. Her vision was blurry. She squinted to make the faces come into focus. It didn't work too well, but these dickmorons seemed to have hidden her glasses.  
She realized what she was seeing and the next thing that they knew, Elrond and Arwen were being jumped on and experimentally poked by a screeching female mental case.  
"Oh my god! OH MY GOD! It worked! You're real! You're pokeable! Can I poke your eyebrows, Elrond-sorry-MrSirColonelSergeantGod Elrond person thing?!"  
Arwen wrenched the girl off the front of her father's robe. "I think we woke her up too soon," she muttered. Rayne found herself plopped down on the bed again. "Rest a little while."  
"No! Nonononono! I have to poke his eyebrows! Eyebrows! WHEEE! Scary forehead! Nyeeheehee....eee....eee...."  
The two elves looked at each other and shrugged. Arwen stepped closer to Rayne. "Now, just lie still. This will make you sleep and have beautiful dreams." Then, reaching back, she slapped the girl with all her strength, knocking her out.  
"She'll sleep for at least another few hours, and she should be saner when she wakes up. Don't looked so scared. She'll be fine."  
Elrond nodded, still looking extremely pale, and sat down on a chair near Rayne's bed to keep watch until she woke up again. 


End file.
